To be honest when I found out I was pregnant again, I wanted to be one of those bloggers who posted weekly updates because I love reading them so much. However, I am boring and do not have that much to say hence why I have done a first trimester (here) and not a post until now. So here it is, finally an update on my second trimester and shock....
It's a long one again.
So during my second trimester as most of you will know, you have the chance to find out the sex of your baby. I did! Obviously way too impatient to wait. You can see my reveal post here :) But spoiler alert - it's a boy!
I don't get the clearest scan pictures and I know this is because of my high BMI but it is a little disappointing. I hope it will get better as baby gets bigger. I will let you know after my next scan!
You can follow on Instagram at @gemandthem for some little shots for some bump shots but they aren't anything fancy as my photography skills need some major improvements. Overall, so far I have put on about a stone in weight now which I thought wasn't really great but considering I am 28 weeks now I also think it ain't that bad. I have a relatively big bump now. Well actually it is a bigger bump than I ever had with Corey. I am worrying at the size I am going to be by full term, waddling along more than I am already starting too. I know most mums to be will feel the same in this. Part of me loves the bump but I don't love my body and I feel very self conscious which gets me down at times. Especially when trying to get dressed. But I also think who gives a crap. I am the size of a baby elephant but I wouldn't have it any other way because I am pregnant. I am growing a life inside of me and I love it. I love when this little man wriggles his little self around constantly having a party every hour day and night. OK, I don't love that really - he better sleep at some point when he makes an appearance into this world. I will not have a wriggling wide awake baby every hour!!!! But feeling kicks and the tossing and turning going on really is just a magical feeling. It is getting stronger day by day and really sometimes leaves me gasping as I am shocked at how big that kick was. It's a great feeling and I smile each time :)
Second trimester really hasn't been the easiest for a fair few reasons to be honest. Firstly you may have seen a post where I explained that I have become single and dealing with that isn't easy especially when pregnant. My emotions are all over the place anyways with hormones. You could imagine the blubbering mess I am half the time. But although is hasn't been the easiest break up and frankly still hasn't got any easier - I am starting to deal with it and just need to get my ass into gear to prepare for the future.
With the extra stress meant there has been a few extra hospital trips - most of the time due to high blood pressure. I am already showing signs of pre-eclampsia and it has been pretty much guaranteed I will develop it in this pregnancy. I had Corey premature at 34 weeks from this so the fact I am already showing signs so early on, well it's really scary. Nothing can prepare you for knowing that your bump may become a baby sooner and the thought of having to go through all the neonatal and illnesses etc again. Well you can't prepare but you can just hope for the best. At times I have had high glucose and low keytones, or protein all showing up in my urine. Which sets up alarm bells every time. But will see how it goes. I am now on close monitoring but already on consultant care so hopefully if anything happens it can be picked up early and dealt with to keep this baby in as long as possible.
Like I said I am being monitored which is good but I am not going to lie, I am bloody scared that I am on a count down to another c-section. This time is elective hopefully if all goes to plan but it doesn't necessarily mean the recovery will be easier. My last experience was horrific - I wasn't back to normal for six months and I am pretty sure the scar tissue damage caused me to need another operation I had a few years later. There is always risks and there is always possibilities of complications. But right now I can just pray and hope that I get lucky this time and am able to recover quickly as I will have no choice with no help being single.
Because of the extra stress and all the problems the stress has been causing. I have been signed off work for 2 weeks. Not solely because of stress though. Another reason pregnancy is hitting me hard is because of developing SPD - pelvic girdle pain. Working, well sitting at work is very uncomfortable. Walking is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable isn't even the right word to use. It's damn right bloody painful. I didn't even realise how common it was until I started moaning over on Instagram recently to see so many others struggle with SPD. Why is it not more known about? It is literally leaving me unable to do most daily things even driving. Doctors just say it is only going to worse. THAT IS NOT HELPFUL! Especially when you have to work, be a single mum raising a child etc.
I can say with such a proud and big smile on my face that I am very lucky to have Corey. He may only be 6 and sometimes I forget he is only 6 as he is so grown up for his age. But he not only is having to deal with my break up which he is truly gutted about and still hopes it may have a different outcome. With this and the end of school year approaching, he is tired, whiny and annoying but I don't blame him as I am too. But he has been helping me so much in so many ways. From the little things like kisses and cuddles to make me smile, from helping round the house i.e. making the beds in the morning or picking things up for me that I can not bend over to get. But mainly when he comes running over concerned and worried to help me when I am in agony and struggling to get off the sofa. Those moments really bring tears to my eyes not only from seeing the worry in his eyes but to know he cares and is that helpful. Although as much as he wants to help with everything - I don't let him. However, it is a lovely feeling knowing I have raised such a wonderful, kind, caring and mostly happy little lad :)
So I am not really sure how my third trimester is going to go. I bloody hope better than the second but with all my worries of health for not only myself but bump too - it could be another lot of craziness. I have a lot to buy and prepare still. I have to also remember to take time to look after myself too. The good thing about crappy pregnancy is at the end you get a wonderful little bundle of joy. Whom I luckily get to see a few more times in upcoming scans from now till then too which hopefully will make time go a bit quicker counting down..
I have decided that I am going to do all the things that I didn't when pregnant with Corey. I don't want to regret not doing things that I have had the chance to do and as I will probably not get the chance again as this will probably be my last pregnancy. So I am booked in for a 4D scan, I am planning a baby shower and a possible maternity shoot. Because why the heck not?! Why shouldn't I celebrate being pregnant and have things to look forward too but also to look back on in years to come. Did you do these things? Are they a waste of money or some of the best times you had? Let me know your thoughts please :)
I may try to update a little more frequently now onto this final stretch but do expect some baby posts from SPD help to preparing and hauls.. :) That's me signing off at 28 weeks until next time...
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