Hidden Illneses

Helloo,

Sometimes it is hard when you have an illness that people can't see or don't know much about. People can be judgemental, when I was younger I was one of them!

I remember along time ago, a family member suffered with IBS, I never believed her (I was like 14) until one day I saw her have the pains - I saw how bad it was. She luckily found tablets that helped. Other people I know are agrophobic, I think how can they sit inside all day every day?

But then I grew up, I had Corey which really lets just say messed my insides up a bit with the whole caesarian as well as my weight causing problems such as IBS and Gallstones. Last year I spent most of it ill, I would be in agony with all sorts of stomach cramping pains - every night without fail. Even caught Jaundice at one point, you can not understand how itchy that was - it was awful.

I am sort of learning to control my IBS, I am currently on no tablets for it though. So if I eat loads then I suffer loads and have had to cut down my dairy in take etc. It is controllable but losing weight would help even more!

I have never had Anxiety before, and I wouldn't really say I do now either. But in January, I had my first ever Panic Attack the day before a big job interview. It was the first of a few and it is hard.

When I was younger I developed Chronic Fatigue which sometimes I see to be an excuse of being lazy. But honestly, I am always tired. I struggle to do day to day jobs, my weight plays a part in this too with losing my breath quickly etc but that's a whole different story!

I wouldn't say I have depression but sometimes like most of us girls - I do have down days, I don't need tablets for it as I can handle it myself! I have alot of down days, far too many. I cry a lot with a lot of hormones, most days I spend in bed. Those who are aware of what the Implant does will know how severe the side effects are but I choose them over time of the month!

I admit I don't like going out, I make excuses. The only places I really ever go now are to do the weekly shop, my mums or grandparents house. I am partial to the odd shopping trip here and there too obviously!

This may seem like a little self pity party, to some extent it is I guess but unless you have been through some of these, you wouldn't know how someone else feels. I didn't!

I sometimes think f**k sake things couldn't get any worse, but they could be a hell of a lot worse. In the scheme of things, I am fortunate and I am so lucky I have Corey who helps me get through each day. I don't know what I would do without his giggle, cuddles and kisses! It is enough to make my day every day :)

I don't think people understand fully about how I feel on a day to day basis because frankly I don't tell them the whole story like I have today. I think I thought writing about it might help and to some extent it has but maybe also it may raise a bit of awareness to how bad some people may be feeling but you wouldn't know as can't physically see it or know about it!

I generally don't like to admit this sort of stuff to people, but I have realised through blogging there is a lot of people who go through the same thing, bloggers support each other so you will always have someone :)

Hope this post helps a little to someone!

Love, Gemma xo

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