Motherhood xo

Evening Bloggers,

My blog is 'Hidden Tales Of A Teenage Mum' so I am doing the scary thing of a very personal post - My Experience Of Motherhood.

Where It Began - Pregnancy
2010, I was 16 years old, due to go away for first time with my girls for a drink up weekend away to T4 On The Beach in July. A matter of days before, to my surprise, the nurse told me I was pregnant. I still went away, no drinking obviously!

It was a mahoosive shock to be pregnant, I was already about 12 weeks gone. I had only been with my partner for 6 months.

I did use protection by the way guys (implant, big FAIL)!

We were young and in love, I clearly kept the baby. I was overjoyed. Always wanted to be a younger mum, just not that young!

So I had my scans, which showed a healthy baby. I also met with the midwife, she scared me - old, pink hair and tattoos. Was not what I imagined, guess I didn't really know what to expect. She pointed out that I was high risk to have Pre-Eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy) so I was on the watch out for it.

I was having a little boy, due 29th January 2011.

When your pregnant - you get a little green book, on the front you can write notes. My main specific instruction was I WONT HAVE A C-SECTION! (unless it's life or death).

I was working full time in Pizza Hut kitchen, long shifts, on my own in busy periods. I wasn't even allowed to go for a wee when I needed too. I'm sure they broke a few pregnancy laws!

Days and months went on, finally it came to December 1st. I was moving into my very first flat with the father, leaving the nest as they say. I also started maternity leave, 8 weeks before my due date. Gave me enough time to relax, sort the flat out, enjoy Christmas and just encase.

I enjoyed one week of this.

At this point I was 33 weeks I had gone to see the midwife, just for a regular check up. They feel the baby and measure. He was always sitting really far back so meant the midwife couldn't get proper measurements. Should I be worried? Obviously her answer was no.

Liar Liar!

A week later..

In hospital with Pre-Eclampsia, its Wednesday 15th December 2010. I'm 34 weeks pregnant, and I could be having my baby at any time!

Birth
Sunday 19th December, was still in hospital, I had my cousin and her boyfriend with me as they came to visit. I start to swell up, I got really worried, as you do. Nurse said it was just my glands. In pregnancy, usually your feet and hands swell up right? My face was swelling, my neck - struggling to breathe. My cousin's boyfriend, not used to these situations baring in mind, got so scared, he demanded a doctor. Who certainly rushed me straight to surgery for a C-Section, my absolute nightmare!

Off I went..

I woke up a little while later, the father by my side. 6.45pm this was. My little boy had been born, we named him Corey, weighing just 4lb1. Not forgetting this is actually 6 weeks pre-mature.

I was very ill unfortunately, I lost a lot of blood and to say I was dopey is such an understatement. Corey had been taken to the Neo-Natal ward, I started to panic before I was reassured he was okay, just being checked over.

In the waiting room whilst all this happened I had, my mum, my dad, the mum-in-law. They had all seen Corey, except me! Luckily, one of them took this picture on their phone for me to see.

I was full of emotions, my beautiful little angel. Eventually everyone went home, it got to 1am, I was finally taken back to the maternity ward, with a detour to see my baby. He was precious. Then it was a horrible night next to lots of mothers with all their babies. Yet I couldn't be with mine, harsh! I got no sleep.

Next day..

I went and saw my baby, had my first cuddle, held his little hands and wiggled his toes. The BEST moment of my entire life.

The Next 4 Intense Weeks
The doctors were worried he had some sort of hole in his stomach, as it hadn't had time to to develop properly. Which they could not see in X-Ray, due to his stomach being full of gas. He had antibiotics and gaviscon to help!

Does he have surgery? Doesn't he? (luckily, he didn't)

He got better, he was my little fighter :)

Some pictures of him in this time.

Yay, He's Home
Them 4 weeks later, he was able to come home. Let me tell you what happened the couple days before that though - his dad crashed the stupid car (relief as it was a banger), our water and heating broke, plus I ended up in A&E. All that got sorted, thankfully!

Then the worst thing possible could of happened..

I knew my son was getting poorly, I took him to the doctors, who referred us to the Day Unit at Hospital, can never be to safe when it comes to a pre-mature baby. Hospital said nothing was wrong, he possibly had Bronchiolitis, never to be worried about they said. Like what the hell?

Later that night, his dad was doing some coursework on the computer. I'm sitting on the bed cuddling my little man. And then I realise..

He wasn't breathing at all.

I went into shock, I didn't know what to do. My heart stopped.

We rushed to A&E, we lived literally the next road, so it was quicker for us to drive than wait for an ambulance.

Corey was rushed in, A&E was put to stop basically, as all on staff doctors and nurses were helping him. A room full of around 20 of them, the most nerve wrecking thing of my life was this point right now.

I needed my mum by my side. Both our mums came, I went into the waiting room, as soon as I saw her, I just dropped, burst out in tears. I couldn't talk. She thought the worst had happened.

He was stable, on a life machine.

I finally managed to explain, he was going to be transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital, they were going to put him to sleep but it was too risky.

It was a long night in Intensive Care, we had beds beside him. I fell asleep with exhaustion eventually.

The next morning, well this is him..



He was doing better, 2 days later, he was taken off the life support, because he was hungry for milk, he wasn't getting enough through his tube. The nurse insisted he needed a bottle.

The little piggy ey!

Then he recovered and was home within 6 days, thank god!

All happened far too quickly for me to process what actually happened.

From Then Until Now
He bloomin had me panicking, it was the most worst experience ever. I relive it every day, that moment when he was in my arms and stopped breathing.

He has been fine since he came home from hospital that time, not even a cold since then.

He's now 2 and a 1/2, meet Corey..

Myself and Corey's dad broke up, when he was just 9 months old. It wasn't working, it wasn't the nicest break up either. We are civil now where he has Corey for the weekend, every other weekend. I hate it, I hate being away from Corey for that long!

After Corey's 1st birthday, I met my current boyfriend. The LOVE of my life. Hopefully, one day we will be engaged soon(hint hint mr :P). He is also the most perfect father figure to Corey, they are like two peas in a pod and are best friends <3 melts my heart seeing them play together. Corey was a little slow on walking, and only being potty trained now. Now he's talking, blimey, we argue. He's a right chatterbox and the bossiest little person ever! Terrible two's has certainly kicked in. All worth it for a cheeky little grin he has, I will try take a snap for you guys to see! You'd understand what I mean :)

My View



I wanted to write this post because to be honest I never really dealt with everything that happened back then, at the time I just had to get on with it. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. Now I think I have finally came to terms with what happened, after crying my eyes out writing this. Even had to stop half way through for a Banana Split break to drown my sorrows! (I'm a comfort eater, who else is?)

Being a mother, is the most rewarding, best, exciting and scary thing in the whole entire world. I am lucky to have the bestest child ever! (obviously that's my opinion) - but he's an angel!

I have lots of keepsakes from when he was little, stuff like hospital bands, first clothes etc. fancy a peek?

His first teddy that his godmother got him(She and I have an unhealthy obsession with Me To You Bears), his bib, dummy, hospital bracelet and his favorite muslin square blankets(which he has just grown out of)!

I came across this page earlier - http://lovekeepcreate.co.uk/

They make the cutest little teddy's out of your old baby clothes for keepsakes, it's on my must list to get!

Earlier today, I watched some videos of Corey just over a year ago, he has changed soo much in this time. It is literally so unreal. I can barely remember it when he couldn't talk or walk - the more peaceful days haha!

I am so broody right now too, I would love another baby. Hopefully my day will come :)

Scary
I am so nervous to press publish on this in a moment, I really hope some readers will enjoy this! Thank you for letting me share :) Feel free to let me know what you think.

Lots more exciting posts to come this week on beauty, fashion and lifestyle.. so keep an eye out please <3 Also, some of you lovely bloggers head over to my twitter, would love for people to say Hiii :)

Love, Yummy Mummy xo